No Need For IIXX

Merry Christmas...

I decided upon writing another sonnet today, in order to quench my thirst for poetry. Such beauty is lost in my current job serving underclass chav customers in GAME. That's right. I took up the Christmas temp job at GAME. I needed the money, despite it meaning that I won't have a proper Christmas holiday period this year.

And thank you, Halifax, for the £1000 increase on my overdraft. I bloomin' well need it to live. Life is expensive these days; especially for a student of drama.
No, I'm not being a queen about it - I reckon drama students are amongst the most expensive upkeep student in the educational populous.

Consider this;

• Various shows seen in a year: ~£200
• Travel to & from said shows: ~£200
• Cost of amateur productions: ~£200
• Costume etc for drama parties: ~£200
• Educational module books, etc: ~£200

That's ~£1000, and I haven't even moved on to the necessary drug addiction and unfathomable quantities of alcohol. I'd suppose that the cost of living for a year as a student doing student stuff adds bucketloads more sterling to the total.

Pah.

Anyhoo, where was I?
Ah yes, poetry. I wrote a sonnet.

Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you're familiar with Shakespeare's "Shall I compare thee...?" because here comes my own little ditty based upon this classic. Apologies for my shocking misuse of pentameter in line 9; just go with it...

Shall I compare thee to a rhyming verse?
Though art more lovely and more musical.
Rough winds prevent time needed to rehearse,
And summer's lyrics remain whimsical.
Sometime too vague a sonnet's matter reads,
And often is it bare of all intent;
And every 'fair from fair' shows poet's needs,
By chance, or failed restriction, ne'er prevent;
But thy inspired sonnet shall not plea,
Nor lose didactic message I profess;
Nor shall John Donne so wrongly referenced be,
"When I am gone, dream me some happiness."
So long as artists make or lovers kiss,
So long I love, as I gave life to this.

I wrote this for Ellie - a good friend that I see very rarely these days.
I intend also to one day post the sonnet that I wrote for Laura Woof's birthday.

To my friends currently without a sonnet - Ask, and ye may receive...
To my friends with sonnets, not yet mentioned here - You may have the only copy...
When I write sonnets, I don't usually put them down anywhere aside from where the receiving individual may read and/or treasure it. Perhaps I'd love to locate all my poetry and post it online... Perhaps I wish to keep it quiet as a sentimental gift to my loved ones.
If the former is so, then I hope people might remind me of my peoms. If the latter is so, then I apologise profusely, and promise to write you a poem in future that only you may keep.

Anyhoo. To bed I fly. A sail! A Sail!

...And a happy New Year too.

No Need For A Hodgson

John is our seminar leader;
A man of student adoration.
And as the group is mostly girls,
He quite enjoys this situation.

John once taught the English verse,
And now takes Culture and Media.
We're glad he does, for he is our
Interesting Encyclopedia.

Reciting Shakespeare with a dance,
Making all participate,
And doesn't give an evil glance
When I'm fifty minutes late!

He knows his stuff, this cultured gent,
And even teaches Essay writing.
We're pretty sure he's using magic,
For he even makes it sound exciting!

We never wish to disappoint
When the article remains unread,
But as students, we seem to find
We spend our time drinking instead.

Shame on we, who fail to read,
Or fail to write in diaries!
Or failed to do that essay task
Involving Library inquiries.

On seventh stanza I shall end
This poem for the afternoon.
For John, whose wit doth ours transcend,
In hopes that he'll get better soon.

No Need For Patek Philippe

When asked to write reflective notes on an advertising campaign, I figured it would be a simple task. Then again, I also used to think acting was easy, and now look at the psychologically deshevelled mess it has transformed me in to! Willingly, I might add...

Anyhoo - Patek.
www.Patek.com
-->Communication
---->Advertising Campaign

There's a lot of white on this page (No; not a lot of blank), it's a company concerning themselves with watches, and the webmaster doesn't seem to be a fan of contrasting colours (though he sure knows his stuff tech-wise!)

...

I retract my compliment to the webmaster with immediate effect; the site has decided not to load any longer. No longer is it simply a pretentious site of chronologically-minded devices, but now it's fairly kaput too. And testing my patience!

How am I supposed to write reflective notes on this advertising campaign when it doesn't even want to load?? This is madness!

In the meantime, I shall give you some factoids about Patek Philippe & Co.

Patek Philippe & Co.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Patek Philippe & Co. is one of the most famous and expensive brands of wrist watches in the world. Patek Philippe is currently owned by the Stern family. Many watch collectors regard Patek Philippe timepieces as the best in the world. Over the years, Patek Philippe watches have been worn by a number of notable individuals, including members of royalty, movie stars and tycoons. Albert Einstein was also a customer.

Links to further information on Wikipedia:
1 History
2 Most Expensive
3 Anniversary Edition
4 Gallery
5 See also
6 References
7 External links

In other words, it's a brilliant watch company that produces the world's finest (and most expensive) timepieces, but with fewer sold in their 150-year lifespan than Rolex in a single year.

They're elite, elusive, essential accessories to the wealthy, and mere dreams to those of us in la-la-land. (Not to be confused with teletubby land, where they all own Patek watches and dance the grim Fandango)

And this is their marketing campaign for the watches that some of us can afford.

"But who?!" I hear you ask.
"But whom!" I retort.

I'll tell you whom - The upper-middle class. It's evident upon closer evaluation of the picture! The "Generations" campaign has been going for over 10 years now, so although it's in black and white, it certainly isn't very old. The monochrome style makes it seem higher class; it's subtle, tasteful, and does give the impression of 'classic' or 'traditional'. Were it in sepia, I would also call it 'nostalgic' - Nostalgia of the day when my father dressed me identically to him and showed me the tinkerings of his motorbike...

...Alright, that never happened; but you get the idea, right?

What do we see here? What's the DENOTATION?
Well - With the exception of the watch, it's B&W, it's advertising a watch (d'uh), it's a man and a boy.

What's the CONNOTATION?
That's a father and son relationship; they're happy and have good lives; they're upper-middle class.

What's the MYTH?
I suppose it's a myth that a watch brings them together. The tagline is also a myth "You never actually own a Patek Philippe... You merely look after it for the next generation." What a bunch of hoo-ha! If you've bought a Patek, then of course you bloomin' well own it! Another myth in this advert? That all upper-middle class men wear jackets over their long-sleeve shirts and adorn rough-tidy good-guy hair styles.

Now then. I must go prepare for a drama workshop before it's too late.
I shall post again later today, so keep your eyes peeled!

And we all hope you get better, John!

No Need For A White Middle Class Princess

In my tenth post, I wish to acknowledge how well my commitment to my blog has been living up to its fairly pretentious, and wholly inaccurate title. No, not the White Middle Class Princess title; the main one.
Anyway, there is need. Desperate need. So here I am, posting in my diary.

19.11.2007 - Whiteness

There once was a media 'screening',
With a strong Racial drive at its meaning;
She ranted so long,
That I thought I was wrong
Being white - it was fairly demeaning.

Should 'meaning' ever rhyme with 'demeaning' - I always find such rhymes as a bit of a cop-out. Also, I mean no offence to the woman who lectured the Foundation Media & Cultural Studies screening on 19th November 2007 - I just felt that my presence there was a little redundant. I learnt little more from that experience than I'm slightly racist for using paper and pen; the paper being predominantly white, and the pen - which takes up the minority of the page - being black.

Eugh. I felt so talked down to during that lecture, and so much of what was put forward was not only unnecessary, but also a little bit unsociable.

Every about that lecture could have been better learned from one simple, and wholly educational source - South Park. The episode entitled "Goobacks". Incidentally, I mentioned Goobacks in my 2,000 word essay for John. I understand now that in the eyes of well-educated lecturers and seminar leaders, it isn't the best resource for moral or ethical arguments. But when one truly studies the series as a whole, and each episode individually, you see the brilliance behind the satire and ridiculously witty observations. I reckon that if it comes down to it, I could write an entire essay on the educational, social, and philosophical importance of South Park.

Right. White screens aside, I shall now stop talking about the farcical lecture on whiteness altogether, in the hopes of calming down a bit, and writing about another one of the subjects that I have thus far failed to write about.

But first I must wash my hands - toad in the hole is awfully greasy.

...

Alright. The Seminar was rather enjoyable! We basically went over the article "The White Man's Muscles" by Richard Dyer (1997), and the observation of men wearing loin-clothes throughout film.

The conclusion we reached was that when a loinclothed man takes on heavily armoured militia, the man will win. The built white body isn't there at birth, thank goodness; it's toned and shaped and crafted and whatnot. Mental superiority, the spirit within, makes the fabulous physique.

In fact, the built white male represents the colonial enterprises. They are both landscaped and show spirit within.

The peplum films of yore centered on heroes of classical antiquity, played by US bodybuilders. They presented the future (US was the land of the future), and the past (the unchallenged white race). This is how they rose to such popularity.

Oh, and 'Ethnography' is the study of a specific group of people.

The End.

12.11.2007 - Discourse: Science & Race.

• Discourse produces knowledge - it is not the things in themselves that have meaning.
• Knowledge acquires authority and power - this constitutes a 'regime of truth'.
• Prescribes a certain way of talking about topics.
• Produces 'subjects' that embody discourse.

Now then, I must admit that 'discourse' is the lecture that I arrived 5 minutes late to - missing the meaning of the term. And also missing the first half of the seminar that followed resulted in further lack of understanding. I await a clear-cut explanation of the term when used in Media and Cultural Studies context. Until then, I shall be wiser than to simply accept dictionary.com's definition of "communication of thought by words; talk; conversation" and, against my will, take on board wikipedia's explanation of "a discourse is considered to be an institutionalized way of thinking, a social boundary defining what can be said about a specific topic". By this, I'm furtherly assuming that there's a lot more to it than that.

Please explain, someone!?!

...

Regardless of incomplete understanding of the term, I can at least enter into my diary what I did learn from that rather interesting lecture/screening...

19th Century discourse of 'race'.
Goodness - that sounded rather official and expensive.

When slavery was challenged in the 19th Century, a set of beliefs about racial difference took hold. Popular representations during slavery clustered around two main themes: Supposed subordinate status of innate laziness, and primitivism (lack of 'culture'). Generally regarded as being genetically incapable of 'civilised' refinements.

Samuel Morton claimed to scientifically prove this inferiority by measuring skulls. Big word of the day, 'Craniometry'. He filled skulls with lead shot, and measured the volume of shot each skull could hold. The results of this ridiculous experiment were thus:

• MOST SHOT - Greeks. White westerners.
• MEDIUM SHOT - Black people.
• FEWEST SHOT - Chimps.

Yes. This man was a fool. Sometimes science gets it wrong (Woo! Go, God, Go!)

Traces of powerful historical discourses still operate. But where there is power, there is resistance - they are two sides of the same coin.

The same was rife with madness; those poor individuals with mental disabilities were mocked by the rest of society in the 18th Century. It was seen as a normal thing to do to mock them. In fact, if one did not mock a human categorised as 'mad', then one would be segregated and seen as mad oneself. I dislike using 'one' at the start of a sentence; I find that I then repeat it too often throughout. This principle of madness, we learned from John - the only man thus far who has given a view into ye olde discourse that isn't to do with race. Hoorah for him, and hoorah for the mad.

Discourse, as I later learned from John, was like how we learn to knock on the doctor's door before entering his room. Well... I don't. But that's what it is according to John anyway!

I then reached the conclusion that

New Baby + Discourse = Someone

Quite genius, I think you'll find. Genius... Or insane!

Dun-dun-duuuuun.

John: "I have ways of making you read."

26.11.2007 - Taste in Class

Today's lecture (and yes, I've written up these lectures in a strange, and wholly un-chronological order) was also of interest, and a sort of enjoyable change from the previous month of driving discourse and race. Now we're onto something classy... Geddit?

What is 'Good Taste'? No, not as in a fruit salad, or blue panda pop. Taste in the media - in fashion, commercial products, music, lifestyle, etc.

How do we know what is 'Good Taste'?

How do we measure 'Good Taste'?

What's the difference between 'Good Taste' and 'Bad Taste'?

Is it all just down to individual opinion?

Is 'Bad Taste' easier to spot?

Recently, we discovered that the Queen (yes, Elizabeth II) is one of the most stylish people in the world. Meanwhile, Britney Spears is one of the least. This incredible revelation makes a nice little topic to be discussed in the course, as it's very new and of-the-times. Insertion of big word: contemporary.

But how did the Queen's fashion sense become so incredible?

1. It's Royally Genetic?
2. Luck-of-the-Monarch?
3. Regina's got Talent?
4. Took time out of her duties to Learn it?

We call Britney Spears 'Trailer Trash'. Well... We don't... At least I don't. You might, I don't know. But it's certainly a term used by the Media. So why can the media do this so openly, so freely? What makes Ms Spears 'fair game' for the media? How do we know she even has 'Bad Taste'?

The Media.

The media has an important role in REPRODUCING, ORGANISING, and MANAGING discourse of 'Good Taste'. It promises to educate us... Through lifestyle shows. It also polices taste; saying what NOT to do. An example of both of the latter points is in the show, "What not to wear".

Reinventing the self! Something that's been driven into us hard like Richard Hammond and that one strip of road. Media insists that we must make ourselves better - than improvement is necessary! After all, 'lifestyle' television is mainstay; over 20 dedicated shows on terrestrial per week! (If you're reading this sometime after 2020, 'terrestrial' was the five channels we had before everything was forced to go digital)

This kind of television turns the idea of 'self' into a sort of D.I.Y project! Aspiring for a 'New You!' Though quite frankly, I'd wonder what on earth to do with the old me!

The hosts and presenters of such smelevision offer 'expertise' and accessible knowledge. This is them using their 'Cultural Capital'.

Once again, Marx enters my media diary, the crafty little minx! Long story short, everyone can have Economic Capital. This is our money. We also have Cultural Capital. This is the type of knowledge that gives you status and power. It can be gained through such things as higher education (university!) OR acquired through Class Power.

Cultural Capital (or 'CC' in tha 'hood) is also an 'Embodied State'; lived in terms of a linguistic repertoire. Accent, Vocabulary, Pronunciation. It's a way of 'being' middle-class, or just 'knowing' what is 'good' or 'tasteful'.

Legitimate Taste: Restraint, Formality, Clarity, Lack of Visual Excess. i.e. Dominant (middle-class) aesthetic values. Matches the rustic aesthetic of the village. Serves to advance the Greater Good.

The Greater Good.

The Greater Good.

The Greater Good.

...

Pegg aside, having 'Good Taste' is linked to...

1. Social Position, Status, and Power.
2. Economic Capital
3. One way or another... Class Position and Ownership of it.

An understanding of 'Taste' automatically confers status.

Trinny & Susannah. Pseudo-Lesbians.

This underwear-to-bare self-improvement pair have turned their understanding of 'Good Taste' (their CC) into Economic Capital. Being televised, and spread so thickly throughout media, reaffirms their right to say such things.

No-one ever looks at what they're doing and shouts 'How Dare They!' in such a public setting, and even if they did, not much response would generate.

The case is different, however, for everyone's favourite "racist, pig-faced waste of blood and organs". Well, that's what Graham Norton called her anyway...

Jade Goody's show "Jade's Salon" was bound to fail from the start. And it did! Huzzah! She was even mocked over it. This anti-celebrity certainly should never have risen to the ridiculous heights that she did. Making a living off being thoroughly and actively uneducated. East Anglia's in Britain, you silly, silly, silly fool. Naturally, I can't be too biased in my media diary, but I'm making a point... And venting some annoyance... And slagging off Jade Goody... But hey - Katie 'Jordan' Price started it, calling the ex-Big Brother lousemate an "ugly, talentless pig with no manners... she's a nasty bitch and she's a liar herself."

Hehe.

Now then, to the point-point. Why did people assume the show would fail to succeed? ... Exactly! Because Jade is not middle class. She barely scrapes 'working class', since the girl probably hasn't actually 'worked' a day in her life. Enough offending the poor Ms Goody now - it's really not my style, and I was only implementing such a scathing tone because this is the Internet, and I can... To make a point.

Therefore, I come to the conclusion that 'Taste' is a system of distinction. Only the middle class and up have it. Or at least, that's what modern educated society dictates... See what I did there? I implied that if you don't agree, you're not educated. Ha-ha; I'm going nicely psychological now!

...A-hem. Apologies for my tone of diary-entry. I royally damaged my knee on Saturday, and am in pain. Lashing out sometimes occurs.

I'd better talk about something nice before all opinion of me is irreversibly tarnished for good.

25.11.2007 - I'm a Disney Princess

Yes, it's an odd title. But here's my Sunday:

1. Went into town early, met Pedro Picasso (http://www.obcom.co.uk/) and received a raving rabbid and a Muppet video tape. Bought breakfast in McDonald's. It was bad, so I sent it back, and they gave me an even better one, twice, if not thrice, the size.
2. Went to find where House MD season 3 DVD is cheapest. Thus far, Virgin Megastore.
3. Bought my ticket for 'Enchanted' special charity advanced preview screening premier.
4. Was about to give a bum 50p, until he started explaining how he found £20 the night before, and spent it all on crack. Instead, I bought him a McFlurry. I am now content with my Christian charitable side for a while, so no more freebies from me for a while, homeless people, sorry!!

Yes, I'm well aware that this doesn't sound all too princess-y thus far (with the exception of #3), but here's Number 5:

5. Went to the Enchanted preview. Many dozens of parents with their children dressed as princesses were there, all on the red-carpet that was laid outside. The best-dressed princess had won a ride around Bristol in a horse-drawn chariot. Inside, there was sparkly glitter, balloons, and a chocolate fountain. Inside Screen 1, we watched the film - and a great film it is - then were promised a princess-party afterwards. I couldn't stay for the party, being a 6'7" 19-year-old male with a cane to help me walk. Man, I must've looked out-of-place. Anyhoo; we all received a free Disney DVD ("A Bug's Life"!!) and the results of the raffle were called out. As I returned to reality, I realised that I had partly, but truly, become a Disney Princess.

Go, me...

No Need For A Handout

Frick, Fi, and Buggeritall. I have mis-layed my handout for the Masculinity lecture. And it was a really good handout, too - you wouldn't believe the effort that went into my doodles!!!

Monty needs time to collect himself and have a sandwich...

...

...

...Phew. Three dots signify a pause, and the pause is extended for every addition of three dots from then, until the maximum nine dots. Never two dots, never five, seven, or eight. Four is sometimes acceptable - but don't you dare flaunt it in front of this pedant.

I digress.

Masculinity - John Baynon (2002) "The Commercialization of Masculinities: From the 'New Man' to the 'New Lad'" - This is the title of the advertisement for Loaded. Oops, I mean, this is the title for the article on Masculinity that was relevant to the Lecture. I'm going to have to amalgamate my write-ups for Lecture 4 and Seminar 4 into this one post, since I am missing essential documents to properly compose two posts. It's not because I'm being lazy, I assure you.*

What did I think of the article? Well, when I first read through it, I did my usual 'academic mode' thing, and just read. Now and then chuckling to myself at supposedly important matters as Hugh Hefner and Playboy. Seeing a theme in my readings thus far, I realised the focus on (and importance of) Magazines as a media - even Playboy! Yes, gentlemen - it's a culturally important document. I wouldn't advise reading beyond the articles however, because on investigation I discovered rather lewd and inappropriate images of women! Worry not, I have already taken precaution in informing the authorities of this despicable content.

For shame, Hugh - For shame.

Anyhoo - it's down to the period of time between the 1950s and 1990s that really saw the Utopian vision formed, and then exploited by consumerism.

For shame, consumerism - For shame.

All I can say is that this subject explains the change from the 'old industrial man' during the latter half of the 20th Century. Unluckily, this change led to some right pillocks such as Jamie Oliver. Pukka. This is the second time I mention Metrosexualism in my media diary. It's not a bad thing, don't get me wrong! I'm a little bit of a gay most of the time, and I do rather enjoy prancing and acting a queer. Seriously, no joke! I do have a girlfriend, yet I wholeheartedly embrace a variety of trends and tastes. I don't dislike The Naked Chef because he's a trendy new-age lad - I dislike him because he's a bit of a prat, really. His need for media attention somewhat repels me from him. And his phony sainsbury's-family-schoolchildren-hip-gay-ladies-dog-friendly charade is nothing short of teeth-grindingly annoying. Pukka.

So often have I heard amateur poetry that thinks it's clever by asking why the Naked Chef is never naked (usually to fill a gap in the poem to rhyme with 'deaf', or 'Geoff' or 'unicef' or something utterly idiotic) and it makes me realise that he won't ever go absolutely starkers on screen because he's a loud bark, no bite, yeller bellied fake. Posing for the camera, but not actually what he appears to be.

And now to the point - what does he appear to be? A lad. A stereotypical bloke. But a sensitive one for the ladies, and a morally conscious one for the parents or schoolchildren. Someone you'd share a pint down the pub with, as he's grooming his dog and arranging flowers at the same time. Yes, the kind of friend you'll have around to throw bar-nuts at beer-dregs at, only to watch him sulk in the corner. I'm not sure he knows what he is trying to be any more. Sucks to be him!

I'm sure he's a great guy when he's not associated to the media in any way. But the thing is that he's only ever shown in his cheesy-grinned fake persona.

And now for my little secret - I do sometimes enjoy Jamie Oliver, and have little against the fella.

But I prefer Tony Soprano.

We were presented with Tony as an opposite to Mr. Oliver, and it's be a pretty good comparison, were it not for Tony's like of food and obsession with ducks. Plus, we know that it's just James Gandolfini acting a role, and he knows it too - and he's very good at it. But this entire rant is waffling gently away from the point of Lecture 4.

In an attempt at returning to the plot; 'Hello' to the 'yuppie'

And now to awkwardly leap perpendicular; Jeremy Paxman, on of the presenter of BBC2's Newsnight programme [not that he needs introduction] included an item on the 'new man' which revealed much about the media's fascination with categorizing and labelling of contemporary masculinity. Four men appeared, each fitting into a narrow stereotype:

• An angry 'old man', who vociferously argued that men had come off badly in changes to the divorce laws and the activities of organizations like the Child Support Agency.
• A 'new man', Mark 1, circa the 1960s and 1970s, who talked of his efforts to tap into his inner masculinity and feelings. [see The Professionals, and my missing doodles**]
• A 'new man', Mark 2, a child of the 1980s, responding to the changing roles and responsibilities of men in the consumer society. [Oh! That's me! ...Well... Just.]
• A 'new lad', who expressed the view that the new man did not exist in real life (but was little more than a ruse by men to get women in to bed).

Bleh. All this talk of men is getting tiresome.

On to John's Seminar! But just a few points.

1. We noticed the difference between the opinionated femininity article of the week before and the factual, bullet-pointed masculinity article at hand. Although we mostly preferred the bullet-pointed scheme, since it was easier for us to get to grips with, and we were more free to make our own opinions; it is essential that we adapt to writing like Sherrie A. Inness, and discuss our own opinion and view, in a flowing, paragraphed style. This was sort of obvious from the off, but I felt it important to mention to anybody who's not quite understood what they are supposed to hand in a matter of days from now.

2. Elaborate. But! Only after your thesis in the introduction; the point you're trying to make. For this point is what you will spend the great majority of your essay elaborating on. And a conclusion and bibliography are expected (thank you, Sixth Form).

3. 1:30pm Wednesdays is John's Essay-writing club.

That's pretty much it now. I'm spent. Off to my three-hour Theatre Practice Workshop I go! It's nice being DSM.

Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's off to work I go...

*Citation Needed.

**Currently thought to be at large in Albania

No Need For An Apology

Firstly, I bid adieu to elements of my media blog front page; No longer is there scrolling news on the bottom that relates to Media and Culture, and gone are the Youtube links on the side to Media, Culture, Four Eyed Monsters, The Parlour, Cat Head Theatre, and various Alanis Morissette Music Videos. Also, one or two Monty Python skits - my favourite of which being the International Philosophy.

I felt that these were fun, but filling up far too much space, and causing my blog to load excrutiatingly slowly whenever I tried to post from the St Matthias Library. Which is where I am right now, having just attended a thrilling Library Induction thingummybob. I now know stuff that I needed to know, but I am also nearly falling asleep from the excitement of it all.

I should apologise, really - It has been almost a fortnight since last I posted, and this is made worse by the fact that I recently discovered that I have a fanbase. Regardless of how many or how few, I know it's a ruddy brilliant fanbase, so I should be more accommodating in my duty to post in my media blog.

So, yes - verily, I am crap.

I must update on Masculinity (not nearly as interesting as femininity), and on Lecture 5, "Policing Gender and Gender Transgression". I must also bring forth the fact that I really miss television. I didn't realise I'd be so bereft of tele-visual delights for so long! Thank goodness for t'internet!

As this is an "in-between" post, I'm not going to write up on any seminars or lectures. Instead, I shall bring this to a close, and begin a new, better, more advanced post for the pleasure of my audience.

Salut, salut, comment va tu?

No Need For An SU discussion

Just to add on the previous two posts - The cats of the SU bar in St Matt's are evil. Seriously. Ones of them is probably stealing a violin as I speak. The rogue! The vandal! The Curr!

Sherrie A. Inness: "Blah blah blah Fashion Magazines only have beutiful feminine woman blah blah blah even the tough ones are actually beautiful skinny models blah blah no uggos blah blah toughness destroys femininity blah blah femininity needs fashion mags blah blah blah fashion mags need 'tough' images blah blah blah circle of life blah blah I hate Vogue blah blah Go Heat Go."

Amy does a kick-ass train face too - let us not forget that... Oh baby, baby...

And make sure to try out jacket potato with hoummous.

And rain is a good topic mid-seminar. Specifically when it's raining.

And...

....

....I'm done. Good Night.

No Need For A 3rd Seminar

The highlights of Tuesday's seminar! Apologies that the current day appears to be Friday. And 1.10am on Friday, too! My next module is in 11 hours and 20 minutes. So long as I sleep for 8 hours within that time, I'm happy.

Anyhoo!

Orders of Signification

1) Denotation
Literal, Descriptive, plain account. e.g. A bottle of Evian water.

2) Connotation
'Come Together' - Words generated together. e.g. Thirst, Clean, Hydration

3) Myth
Things believed of something. Sort of like a cliché in narrative. Ideas & Story.
e.g. Evian is so expensive because it is bottled from the finest source.
B*ll*cks to that Myth! It's only expensive because it's from a greedy corporation!
Also note this: Evian backwards is Naive.

A Myth in Culture is how life ought to be - what it's believed to be. For example; the woman should be home as the man drinks and plays. Myth. The majority of binge-drinkers in the UK are female. Myth. In the 17th Century, people believed that cancer was caused by angels and God when a person did something bad, or when the Almighty and his seraphs were bored and felt like spicing things up a bit. Myth.

We took out our Media Artifacts today! Huzzah!
My 'Anti-Chav' band did not appear, since we were rather out of time, what with the expanse of time it took to drill the meanings of Denotation, Connotation, and Myth into us. One artifact that was shown was an extract from the Metro newspaper about binge-drinking, and the image on the report was of a woman. Dun-dun-duuuu~n. The other artifact was Heat magazine.

...

...

....Sorry, I've forgotten the significance that was discussed to be behind it - but, heck! It's Heat, for goodness sake! It deserves a mention.

Speaking of Heat, I believe that was brought up in the Lecture on Feminism. Well - we reflected on that for a period, and came to the following interesting points:

Sherrie A. Inness wrote the extract we all read thoroughly (yes, the one that spans eighty thousand pages). We all decided that she's far too repetitive, and she doesn't actually at any point describe what 'toughness' is. Sure, she argues that women in fashion magazines don't have 'toughness', and perhaps no woman anywhere actually has 'toughness' - but gosh darn it, she doesn't one touch on what she thinks 'toughness' is, or what a rough, tough, tumble, woman would be like, should it be required for a fashion magazine. Which, let's face it, is unlikely.

Finally, we would also like to point out that some very feminine women are extremely tough.
They're the kind that don't need to walk around with a 'Boots Pharmacist' brand Rape-Alarm.

No Need For A Bra

Indeedy - this be the post covering Monday's Feminism Lecture.

...The one that Sophie missed. Bad Sophie.

Anyhoo! For starters, one image pops into my mind, and it's entitled "Defining Femininity":

Yes, it's a picture of cows. I'm not being rude, or sexist, it's just the first image we were given in the lecture. A lecture by a woman, might I add. Not that it should make a difference; it's merely an observation.

This picture is of cows (that's female cows for those of you who think that bulls are just bigger, scarier cows - much like ponies are just baby horses.) We were asked why gender was so important to contemporary culture:

• As a site of identity
• As a way of differentiating between groups & individuals
• As a central component of the way ideas about religion, work, and social relations operate

Gender is one important way in which meanings about the world, ourselves, metrosexuals, and others, are organised.

Perhaps femininity is a 'social group'.

Piffle.

Perhaps femininininity is a 'biological category'.

Tosh.

Perhaps femineminiminity is a 'cultural construct'.

Balderdash...

...Or is it...?

The Cultural Construct idea is of interest - Femininity is a specific category associated with femaleness! A bit like how bad hygiene is associated with maleness? It is performed and constructed through body, voice, behaviour, fashion, beauty culture, taste, etc. And the idea of image and appearance is a powerful element in contemporary cultural prescriptions about what femininity is.

Is it, as our lecturer so helpfully coined, to-be-looked-at-ness?

• Expectations (what's appropriate)
• Desire (what's social)
• Boundaries (what's allowed)

Especially in this media-saturated culture, telling what it means to be Gendered.

In fact, I feel that...

...Screw that, let's just jump past the cliché spark-of-hope rant that absolutely anyone can have femininity - from Barbie, through to Priscilla Queen of the Desert. Because let's face it - we know that. Heck, I'm a guy built like a brick-house, and I have femininity from here to Paris!

What does femininity mean?
Once again, our Lecturer pointed out:

1. Long hair, tightly fitting clothes, frills
2. Specific parts of the body emphasised
3. Specific parts of the body covered

To which I must point out:

1. Emo/Goth. Gemo.
2. Pantomime.
3. Prostitution.

But I am forced to accept that each of those are actually feminine in some major way.

Except maybe the emos. They're just gay.

But isn't there femininity in homosexuality too?!

Some may say yes.

Some may so no.

...

...Yeah. Anyhoo!

We were also told that it could mean Blondeness, Whiteness, Youth, Slimness. So... The Nazi's? I'm sure they were ideally blonde and white. And you can't spell Hitler Youth without Youth! Ergo - The Nazis are an example of femininity.... I think.

But it's images like these that contribute to the circulations of meanings about femininity that are ideological! Not what is true. In fact, understood in terms of binary values in which femininity is opposed to, and udderly different from masculinity:

Femininity:

• Soft
• Receptive
• Nurturing
• Dependent
• Emotional
• Consumer
• Housewife
• Home
• Private
• Clean
• Intelligent

Masculinity:

• Hard
• Assertive
• Tough
• Independent
• Rational
• Producer
• Businessman
• Outdoors
• Public
• Unwashed
• Primitive

Such ideas of gender are persistent - they're universal, and stand the test of time - Even when they are modified and modernised. They just won't bloody well go away. No siree.

Now we jump to women's magazines!

Heat, Vogue, Woman, Closer, Chat, Gossip, Goss, Celebrity, Top Sante, Yours, Grazia, NW, More, First, Cosmopolitan, Self, Vanity Fair, Mademoiselle, She, Seventeen, Allure, Redbook, Belle, Woman's Own, New Woman, Marie Claire, Elle, Pride, Ladies' Home Journal, Jackie, PMS Monthly, etc...

That's only to mention a tiny amount available.

They all open up, yet limit the ways one can be feminine, by emphasising:

• Consumption (This is what to buy!)
• Beauty Culture (Buying this makes you beautiful!)
• Emotions (It'll make you feel better. Much better!)
• Gossip (Victoria Beckham uses this. So can you!)
• 'Fun' ("That's all they really wa-a-a-a-a-a-ant")

Schönheit Macht Frei

Maintaining the female body, regulating, controlling, waxing, drying, shaving, toning, moisturising, exercising, stretching, silkening, softening, cleaning, washing, dabbing, showering.... Sorry - I got a bit carried away there. But you get the point. I do.

It introduces new anxieties - like Brazilian waxing! -Ouchies! And Avada Cadavra ~ these products will instantly FIX your problems (that you never knew you had!)

"I'm a consumer whore!"

"And How!"

When the heck did this turn into a rant against consumerism?

Oh, I get it - consumerism is feminism...

Let's just leave it at this; woman's magazines help to socialise women into the culture of femininity - through pleasurable fantasies (of physical perfection. i.e. Me) and the normalisation of a dissatisfaction with the female body - which is itself part of the culture of feminism.

Femininity is striving to reach these contemporary (yet permanent) ideals of femininity. It's the process of becoming. It is always unfinished, always imperfect. Therefore, perpetual anxiety, and an eternity of women's magazines churned into our society!

Well...

Thank God one of those magazines is 'Heat'.

No Need For A Fictional Character

Karl's "Capital" is the reference of the day!

In an unexpectedly political meeting, we discussed Marx and Blake. An unusual crime-fighting duo, I must point out, but one that links well into the group's seminar, comrade.

Right, so... We have the Ideological Superstructure, and we have the Economic Base. Power & Money; who has the money? Capitalists! (Or, Capitalist Scum, as dear old Marxy would put it). And, just in case we weren't covering enough ground with attacking politics and culture, we had to bring up the pink elephant standing in the corner that "Religion is the Opiate of the People". Boo-yah, I am going wild with the Capital letters today!

I must now jump up, down, and sideways, to the extract we went through - aptly named "Culture". Ethnic Groups and Lifestyle Choices seem to be what dictates culture, and everybody now draws from a sprawling array of transnational cultural symbols and styles. Internationalisation, people!!

Speaking of cultural symbols, we were suppose to flaunt our own personal items of culture, but ran out of time, so we shall commence with that task at the beginning of the next seminar.

Seminar. I always have the urge to go swashbuckling and pronounce it "semin-ARR!" But that would be childish and inane, so I shall not.

...Unless, you know, you see me in the corridor and request that I scrub the poop-deck or something along those lines.

For there is a correlation between Global Warming and the decrease of Pirates.

It's just a jump to the left. And here we are, back on the topic. We have been warned not to 'essentialize' people culturally - it's misleading and leads to stereotyping. Tut-tut-tut. Tsh-tsh-tsh.

Years ago, Raymond Williams (1962) succinctly defined culture as "a particular
way of life" that is shared by a community and shaped by values, traditions,
beliefs, material objects, and territory. From this perspective, culture is a
complex and dynamic ecology of people, things, world views, rituals, daily
activities, and settings. It's how we talk and dress, the food we eat and how we
prepare and consume it, the gods we invent [there we go
again!] and the ways we worship them, how we divide up time and space,
our sense of humour, how we dance, the way we work and play, how we make love [or how we don't!],
the values to which we socialise our children, and all the other many details
that make up everyday life.

I am, of course, quoting directly from the extract here, so don't think I've suddenly gone deep, philosophical, and intelligent - because I haven't. This is merely my highlighting the key paragraph in the extract. And now to end it...

Understood this way, culture is "our way of doing things" and it reveals "who we
are" as well as "who we are not." Culture makes available the frames through
which we know ourselves and others, providing coherence for cultural members
while marking differences between groups.

End of quote, with all due highlighting of phrases, and changing American to English. Mwaha-ha.

Everyday doings dictate everything about us. The same is true in drama too, I suppose. For the father is usually the one who holds the remote in the household (or at least it was in 1960). It is also important to notice that what we are not can also dictate what, or who, we are.

Example: I am male, because I know I am not female.

...I think.

Now you may have noticed my religious slant over this rambling entry, and I suppose I should just come out and say it - I am a Christian. Church of England. I was conditioned that way, and choose to believe it. And this should link a little neatly into the mention of Blake.

Songs of Innocence - The Chimney Sweep - William Blake

When my mother died I was very young,
And my father sold me while yet my tongue
Could scarcely cry 'weep! 'weep! 'weep! 'weep!
So your chimneys I sweep, and in soot I sleep.

There's little Tom Dacre, who cried when his head,
That curled like a lamb's back, was shaved: so I said,
"Hush, Tom! never mind it, for when your head's bare,
You know that the soot cannot spoil your white hair."

And so he was quiet; and that very night,
As Tom was a-sleeping, he had such a sight, -
That thousands of sweepers, Dick, Joe, Ned, and Jack,
Were all of them locked up in coffins of black.

And by came an angel who had a bright key,
And he opened the coffins and set them all free;
Then down a green plain leaping, laughing, they run,
And wash in a river, and shine in the sun.

Then naked and white, all their bags left behind,
They rise upon clouds and sport in the wind;
And the angel told Tom, if he'd be a good boy,
He'd have God for his father, and never want joy.

And so Tom awoke; and we rose in the dark,
And got with our bags and our brushes to work.
Though the morning was cold, Tom was happy and warm;
So if all do their duty they need not fear harm.

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God was created to keep boys up chimneys long before TV was ever created. If they were good, and did their job unconditionally, they'd end up in heaven with the Almighty. Something like an Opiate for the People, and a method to keep youths in order. How useful.
As the complete geek that I am, I must also point out a modern example of this in popular media. In the show South Park, there is the character Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo. A little controversy was raised upon his creation, since a similar character had appeared on Ren & Stimpy, "Nutty the Netmeg Poop." Mr. Hankey's creator, Trey Parker, denied it publicly, stating that the character came to exist because his father scared him into flushing the toilet as a young child or else suffer and bit from Mr. Hankey. [citation needed]

"Just like God!" I hear you cry.
"Just like God..." I respond.